Thursday, November 8, 2007

Still in the hands of the Gardener

Well, it's been a week now since the face to face interviews, and still no word about anything. I don't really get it, but I don't pretend to know what's going on behind the scenes. Surely today I'll hear something. Didn't they like me? I thought it was a pretty good fit. Maybe they're interviewing other candidates. Anyway, this little Gecko is trying to stay in the hands of the Gardener and not second guess him.

Timing is always everything. Just this week three more interviews popped up for next week, so maybe I'll have some options to choose between, which would be nice. I'll have my first phone interview with a company in SLC on Tuesday. A company I applied to through called; I had a short phone chat with the HR guy, and was invited to get on a plane to Denver. So that will be great to get out of town and see what's there, next Wednesday. Then another face to face interview on Thursday, back in Phoenix for a pharmaceutical company, which is a bit of a stretch, but they're the ones making the invitation, so why not?! I love having choices.

All this dragged out job uncertainty serves to reminds me in a literal way of the fact that in life we don't really know what's ahead--we get comfortable in routines, but we still don't know the end from the beginning. We believe we have a purpose so we just press on. I trust in a plan, regardless of knowing the outcome, hoping for good options, and doing my best day by day. To do otherwise would be to basically do nothing or panic--submit to chaos and despair, which I don't want to subscribe to. Sure, 'shit happens,' but choosing to believe we're headed in a direction to lead us somewhere better, or choosing to believe we're going through this trial today to make us stronger for tomorrow, that's the stuff of faith. I want to be in Zion's camp, even if the trail is tedious; too many evidences along the way already point me in that direction. I won't jump out of the Gardner's hand back into a dark pile of rubble to hide in. The best reward along the way is being home to do the things I didn't have time for, loving my wife and playing with the most wonderful grandson baby in the entire world. I can wait, use up a little more money, have faith in a better outcome, just around the next bend.


Anonymous said...

my workplace is getting real paranoid these days--password protected locked doors, plexiglass between customers and staff. i mentioned to a colleague that it seemed like a prison. she said, what would freud say about that--you feel like you're imprisoned?

didn't appreciate her comment, but there are times when i feel like i could use a new setting. that ain't gonna happen, so i need to find something else to change... maybe my attitude ; (

Beck said...

The wait is the biggest trial. Not knowing leads to wondering about one's self-worth. Self-doubting leads to defeat.

Don't go there. Stay positive! Work on things you can control. Love your wife and grandson. Be involved in things you now have time to do.

He knows your desires. Again, the lesson is learned "along the way", not necessarily at the end of the road.

Hang in there!